Sidewalk Crapper

Confronted by a rude shock as I made my way to work this morning. From afar, I thought I could make out a naked butt. Thought it's probably a juvenile kid or that my eyesight is just getting worse. It was a lewd jarring greeting as I walked nearer to the unidentified silhouette and encountered a woman, possibly in her late 30s or early 40s, with knickers down to her knees, squatting by the sidewalk and was happily crapping away - yes! I saw quite a huge lump of turd coming out of her rear! I had to to get to the end of the soi and with cars coming into the junction, I could not move to the other side of the street. As I walked by her, she was simultaneously urinating buckets and her pee was rapidly trickling down to me...almost touching my feet! Wah lau, eh! Weird things always happen to me, can. What's worse is that the image of her squatting, crapping and pissing are all captured clearly in my very head! I can even see her face, remember what she was wearing, how she had positioned herself and almost felt that warm trickling pee on the edge my toes! What a charming morning sight.

Obviously, there's probably nothing right in her head. She seemed unperturbed by her surroundings, ranting away god-knows-what as she was doing about her business. Safe to say she's a bit mental and probably lost her marbles. As Aunt Antsy puts it, "Poor thing these people ... the disability to live with dignity" . I saw a couple of people watching, but hapless to do anything.

I'm wondering how long this scene will be playing in my head every time I walk past that soi. I am now scarred for life. And I walk that soi every morning. :/ LPPL*

* LPPL: LUM PAH PAH LAN - a Hokkien term, similar to Bang Balls as in there' snothing one can do about it.