Roti John

It's really hard to find a good Roti John nowadays and in Thailand, probably non-existent. This dish was created in Singapore in the 70s and is still popular throughout Singapore & Malaysia today. One of the best Roti Johns were served up in a hawker centre at the Botanical Gardens eons ago. It is now no longer there, but plenty more sprung up in other places. Sad to say, I haven't found any good Roti Johns to rave about. So I have been making them at home, accompanied with my very own home-made chilli sauce, for a simple, yet enjoyable meal.



Ingredients:

• 100g minced beef
• 1 onion - chopped
• 2 green chillies - sliced
• 3 tbsp paprika sauce
• 1 tbsp coriander powder
• 1 tbsp curry powder
• 3 eggs
• 1 baguette
• 10-15 pieces dried chillies
• 1/2 lime
• pepper, sugar and salt to taste
• some butter

Method:

1. Heat up woke with about 2 tablespoonful of oil. Fry onions, green chillies till browned and add in minced beef
2. When meat turned slightly brown, add paprika, coriander, salt and pepper to taste
3. Fry them all for a little bit more and set aside
4. Separately, beat the eggs and then mix in the fried minced beef into it
5. Slice the baguette into pieces and smear ingredients in #4 onto the white side of the bread
6. Heat up the pan and add some butter when hot.
7. Pan fry the bread the meat face down onto the pan. Flip the bread to brown the other side. Then turn it back again and press down the pan to squeeze out any leftover eggs on the bread. Repeat till all meat ingredients and bread are used up
8. To make the chilli sauce, cut up the dried chillies and soak in hot water for about 10 minutes and drain.
9. Blend in the chillies with a little bit of water
10. Heat up a deep pan with 1 teaspoonful of oil. When hot, add in the blended chillies
11. Stir occasionally to prevent the chillies from drying out or burnt. Add some water if it becomes too dry
12. Squeeze the lime juice and add into the liquid.
13. Occasionally stir until the chilli gives out a very deep red colour
14. Add sugar and salt to taste. Add more sugar if you prefer it to be sweeter to tone down the spiciness of the chillies
15. Pop the roti in the oven for a few minutes before serving it with chilli sauce so the bread would be more crispy than chewy.

You can also eat it with mayonnaise in addition to the chilli sauce.

Fudge

It's certainly looking that Fudge is feeling right at home. She has no problem entertaining herself for hours on end and has taken a liking to Donut as her playmate. Hmm...Donut and Fudge...even the cats are named after food, come to think of it. I assure you it is coincidental as the markings on Fudge is really quite unique and does reminds you of some desserts. We won't be eating this one, we promise! :p

Fudge is really very vocal for a kitten (read:whine). But at least this one meows like a proper cat. Unfortunately, Andy hasn't really taken a liking to her as yet and has isolated herself from everyone else. She walks off everytime she sees Fudge in sight. Hopefully she'll come round soon.

Suckered!

Looks like the kitten has got herself a new home. Fudge has adopted us, as well as the other 2 resident cats in the last few days without further ado. Seems to get along quite well with Donut. We are suckered by her easy going personality, and she's been showing signs that she's quite the lapcat. Awfully playful too!

Here we are, slaves to the cats. There would be no more after this, lest we become of those crazy cat people.

Under close supervision

The 2 resident cats have been quite apprehensive of the little one. She's been watched like a hawk as Andy and Donut both are probably trying to make sense of her presence. She is currently under close supervision. She's looking like she can be quite a handful. We are still non-committal of her name at this point.

A tough call

Can you bear to give this up? Trust me, this wasn't all planned and we are contemplating adoption.

How it all happened was when I saw this little bugger sprawled at the lobby amidst 20 other human beings as I made my way downstairs from the office. All I did was just gave her a pat and told myself that I should walk away. Walked away I did. Was still thinking about the little fella as I parked myself near the cafe at lunch. I was even contemplating of walking the other way to avoid seeing her again on my way back to the office. Called my colleague and told her about this little bugger since she's a cat lover. Told her to adopt this furball but she already has got 5 cats at home. That didn't stop her from rushing 22 floors down though! As I was waiting for my colleague, the furball has already made her way to me and started with the figure of eight around my ankles. Wah lau! Heart-breaking, can! I don't have the heart to leave her by the side of the busy main road...so my colleague brought her up to the office and I went off to buy her some food; all with the intention of getting her adopted by someone else. But someone has to keep her for a bit...so I called Silver Bullet to discuss on the situation.

Funny how we both burst into hysterical laughter when I said that we would put it up for adoption after a visit to the vet. A visit to the vet, we did and brought her home. Andy and Donut seemed curious. Both had no access to the guestroom where she is to spend the night. Or at least till she's ok to meet the other 2 resident cats and for adoption thereafter.

Thought that it won't be wise to give her a name if we are not gonna keep her eventually. By the end of the night, however, Silver Bullet suggested "Marbles". She's friendly, agile, healthy and loud! Oh dear me...what have I got us into?

Let the reminiscing begin!

The package, securely sealed arrived all the way from India. Exciting times ahead with all time favourite classic, Mind Your Language. Managed to catch a few eps already and still as funny as I remembered it. Always brings me back to the good old days. This series is so old that all of them are likely to be originated from a VHS! A must watch for old times' sake.

Seven Pounds

The movie started out with neither head nor tail and unless I had somehow missed it, it didn't really explain about the Seven Pounds. It was quite slow and took a while to get to the end. The storyline is a bit disjointed and think I only figured out why "Seven Pounds" after it ended. The love story was unnecessary. Have seen Will Smith in a better movie and this one is just OK. Not the best of Will Smith.

Lars and The Real Girl

Never mind that it's probably considered quite weird in the real world, but it has an original storyline.The dark humour is charming. It makes you wonder- if this is a real situation, how many people would actually bend backwards for such a guy, as if it's the only natural thing to do? Worth a watch.

Unintentional circumcision

Trust the Thais to get it wrong. Had to laugh when the doctor defended on only the positive side of the mistake made by the nurse. As if it's an acceptable excuse. Only in Thailand!

Devil Curry

A Eurasian cuisine I believe of Portuguese influence, was exposed to me a long time back where my Eurasian ex-boss had once cooked it over Christmas. Unfortunately, I never had a chance to try it as it was cooked with pork. Had long forgotten about it. Stumbled upon this in Southeast Asian Food cookbook, a gift from Silver Bullet. Think he got tired of me asking him what to cook every time :p. Not knowing what to expect, I experimented this dish with some improvisation and boy! was it good. Certainly not for the faint-hearted.


Ingredients:

• chicken cut into pieces
• 4-5 tbsp oil
• 1 large onion sliced
• 1 inch fresh ginger root, peeled & sliced
• 3 cloves garlic, sliced
• 1 - 1 1/2 cups of water
• 1 1/2 tspn brown mustard seed, grounded
• 1/4 cup white vinegar or to taste
• 1-2 tspn sugar to taste
• 2 tbsp yellow mustard
• Taters, quartered
• Salt to taste

A) Marinade for chicken:

• 1 tspn light soy sauce
• 1 tspn dark soy sauce
• Dash of Worcestershire sauce
• Pepper to taste

B) Spice Paste (blend/grind all)

• 30 dried chillies and soaked in warm water and drained
• 10 shallots
• 3 cloves garlic
• 1 inch fresh ginger, coarsely chopped
• 1/2 tspn ground tumeric

Method:

1. Marinate the chicken in (A). Mix in all thoroughly and set aside
2. Heat in the oil and fry the onions, ginger and garlic till golden brown and fragrant
3. Add (B) and stir-fry till everything is fragrant
4. And the chicken and all of the marinade and fry them all for a few minutes
5. Add water as it cooks dry and cover to simmer till chicken is nearly cook.
6. Add mustard seeds, yellow mustard, vinegar and sugar to taste
7. Mix in the taters and continue cooking till they are cooked. Salt to taste
8. Serve with bread or rice

Variations to this recipe include using 10 fresh chillies and 10 dried chillies instead. I came across some recipes that has chilli padi in it on top of the many dried chillies. I suppose it's not called Devil Curry for nothing!

Thailand's smelliest food

And the winner is......The Bamboo Shoot Dish. Looks unappetizing and really is revoltingly pungent. It smells like pee so putrid, that you'd think the pee may have flowed out from a rotten kidney, infested with rats' carcasses.

This dish, however, is so relished in Thailand. But one man's meat is another man's poison. This is my ultimate poison. If you are in Thailand and wondering where the foul smell comes from when you are in a food area (or sometimes not), I assure you it's probably the vile smelling bamboo shoot. You can definitely detect it way before you see it. You have been warned.

Cubicle Hoaders

Females are the culprits of hoarding public toilet cubicles. Why would anyone want to spend such a long time in a small room of public toilets is beyond my comprehension. Unless they suffer from a severe case of diarrhoea, constipation or food poisoning, there's absolutely no reason to spend more than 5 minutes to do their necessary business. It's always the case with female toilets everywhere when you have to queue up for a long time just to empty your bladder. I'm usually faster than Silver Bullet or any of my other male friends if the need arises. I'm not even talking about those who do their make-up after they get out of the cubicles. It's those who are IN the cubicles! That's why I don't understand what else do the rest of these females do and inevitably holding up everyone. You go in, do your business and out to wash your hands. What else are they doing? Why the hell do they need to take so long? It's a public toilet, mind you. Any thoughts?

Fare thee well

For the past 6 months, I looned. I maintained my patience. I thought it was just you throwing a tantrum on me or just that I was too daft to understand. People told me you are one of the worst ever, but I shrugged it off coz you are the only one available to me. Every time I hit on you, you made me wait. You made me wait like no other. I twiddled my thumbs waiting for you till they are almost sore. You had me round your little buttons and I was just too petulant to speak up, thinking you would realize it is not my fault. I looned some more. When I complained, you were just slightly better. But you persisted in being so unreliable, you 20 kg fat piece of crap. You give me backaches when I slung you over my shoulder and I looned. You don't perform at optimum...and I still looned. You even disregard some work that I did and made me do them all over again a few times when I haven't slept in days. Yet, somehow I looned a little longer, maintaining my patience and building up frustrations. Time and time again, I have such a strong desire to smash you up like a pulp and drop you from the highest height so you explode and break into pieces. I refrained, as you are the only one I had. I looned plenty more times than you dare imagine. And now, I can loon no more. Productive days can be spent in the office without me having to wait more than 5 minutes each time I click on something. It took you 20 minutes to boot up, another 5 to read the file I’m clicking on, another 10 to open up the file, another 5 to open other applications and 15 more to shut down. That's dozens of minutes into wasted hours of my life that I will never get back. That’s it! I cannot take your stoopid tantrums no more. I never liked you anyway. You make me damn tu-lan. My complains to the IT department ain't so kind this time and they told me you will be replaced. About bloody time. Begone IBM T42 . You are the worst I ever had. You sucked to the grandest grandeur! It’s no wonder why they stopped production of your kind.


Super sucky, useless F#$&%^##@ IBM T42...



...replaced by a potentially eye-sight destroyer, Lenovo X200

Images courtesy of Google Images and modified by author of blog

Pompous Gen-Yers No More?

Who says having a degree, any form of degree, is everything? Gen-Y, being the most educated generation of all times, apparently are facing difficulties getting a job. Obviously, they tend to think they are more privileged and therefore "deserve" more; not willing to accept a lesser salary for the work that they do. Based on past experiences, fresh uni grads tend to be a bit more pompous and at the same time, selective even calculative of the type of the work that they have to do. They usually are not willing to roll up their sleeves and get their hands dirty. They feel it's beneath them. Given that mentality, I'd rather hire someone who did not get to uni, yet willing to persevere, learn and appreciate what hard work means. There's more value to these people as opposed to uni grads who harp on their all-mighty university education. I couldn't care less.

Time to eat a humble pie, don't you think. We have to start small and work our way up. Nothing comes easy. Money can buy you plenty of degrees but not the work experience. I know of an MBA Graduate, majoring in English, yet can't even string a proper sentence of English. Sad. Goes to prove that having a degree is nothing but just a bloody piece of paper.

Advocating Internet Security

Doing my part as a good citizen to evangelise the importance of online security and privacy. Thanks to Barcajax's constant nagging, and having an IT geek of a spouse, helps in my initial inertia. I've started to use pidgin as opposed to Windows Live IM for encryption for chat sessions. Unfortunately, only a handful of my friends are using this and I would encourage everyone to start this simple download. Silver Bullet has helped me encrypt my thumb-drives and I'm assured of a peace of mind should those tiny things disappear. I remember going bonkers once when I thought I had lost one of my thumb-drives. Imagine people snooping on your data. That's not very pleasant, is it?

Barcajax should be so proud! Read more on security stuff here.

Best Job in The World?

Fancy a career change? This job in Australia is apparently a legitimate job open to anyone! Now, if only I'm not so aqua-phobic...

The Aftermath

Walking by the soi today since the incident 2 days ago, I can't help but have heightened awareness of all the turds turning up in that soi. Always thought they are dogs' poo...now I'm wondering if that *seow charbo has also played a part in it. Where would she have done it this time? All the "watermarks" on the soi...does it belong to her...?

* Seow - Hokkien for "mad" or "crazy"; Charbo - Hokkien for woman

Mom's Mee Siam

This signature dish of my mom's is really quite addictive. I do miss it every so often and seems like it has become one of my best dishes so far. Even Silver Bullet loves it! Still does not taste exactly like Mom's, but I've been told it's quite close. Good enough for me and it is quite simple to make.

Ingredients:

• 1 packet or 300g vermicelli
• 20 pcs dried chillies
• 2 big onions - sliced
• 3 garlic - sliced
• 1/2 inch fresh tumeric - sliced
• 350g minced chicken, beef or fresh prawns
• 150g or 1/3 of small bottle of fermented soy beans/taucheo (optional)
• Cabbage, bean sprouts or kailan
• Chinese chives (optional)
• 3-6 pcs dried anchovies to be rinsed and clean (optional)
• salt to taste
• Hard boiled eggs

Method:

1. Soak vermicelli at least overnight with water so that they become soft. Drain before using
2. Cut dried chillies and soak them with hot water for about 20 minutes. Drain out the water
3. Combine onions, garlic, ginger, soaked dried chillies, anchovies (optional) and blend them together.
4. Wash the fermented soy beans to get rid of the liquid or it will be too salty. Blend or pound separately
5. Clean all vegetables. If using cabbage/kailan, cut and set aside
6. Cut the chives at about 3-5 cm
7. Heat up pan with oil. Add meat and fry till it's slightly brown and dry
8. Add in the combined paste of grind chillies as in #3
9. Fry until fragrant and add in taucheo if used.
10. Add in the drained vermicelli, vegetables and chives and cover for about 5 minutes
11. Mix well over slow fire. Cover the pan for 2-3 minutes and stir well again until they are thoroughly mixed. Refrain from continuously stirring or the vermicelli will break into smaller pieces
12. Add salt to taste. Turn off the fire once they are cooked and thorougly mixed
13. Serve with hard boiled eggs

Note: This dish might make you fart more than usual. But the fart's' all worth it! You have been warned.

Sunshine

The cats seem to enjoy the little bit of sunshine that comes into the apartment. Who can blame them...it has been really chilly last week. Although, I do think the cool season ain't gonna last that much longer. It's still not that hot, but you can feel a little bit of humidity these past few days.

Mind Your Language

Remember the British comedy TV series, Mind Your Language? It has been so, so long ago and used to be one of my favourite comedy. Come to think of it, it was produced in the year which I was born and I had only watched it more than 15 years after its birth. Yet, I still remember it to be really hilarious. As a teenager, I would usually watch it at home with my Dad or with a bunch of friends. We'll be in tears from laughing our guts out after every episode. Will get my hands on the entire series soon as Silver Bullet has just placed an order from E-Bay. He has no inkling or whatsover of this series. Can't wait! It's such a classic and I'm such a DVD-whore!

Sidewalk Crapper

Confronted by a rude shock as I made my way to work this morning. From afar, I thought I could make out a naked butt. Thought it's probably a juvenile kid or that my eyesight is just getting worse. It was a lewd jarring greeting as I walked nearer to the unidentified silhouette and encountered a woman, possibly in her late 30s or early 40s, with knickers down to her knees, squatting by the sidewalk and was happily crapping away - yes! I saw quite a huge lump of turd coming out of her rear! I had to to get to the end of the soi and with cars coming into the junction, I could not move to the other side of the street. As I walked by her, she was simultaneously urinating buckets and her pee was rapidly trickling down to me...almost touching my feet! Wah lau, eh! Weird things always happen to me, can. What's worse is that the image of her squatting, crapping and pissing are all captured clearly in my very head! I can even see her face, remember what she was wearing, how she had positioned herself and almost felt that warm trickling pee on the edge my toes! What a charming morning sight.

Obviously, there's probably nothing right in her head. She seemed unperturbed by her surroundings, ranting away god-knows-what as she was doing about her business. Safe to say she's a bit mental and probably lost her marbles. As Aunt Antsy puts it, "Poor thing these people ... the disability to live with dignity" . I saw a couple of people watching, but hapless to do anything.

I'm wondering how long this scene will be playing in my head every time I walk past that soi. I am now scarred for life. And I walk that soi every morning. :/ LPPL*

* LPPL: LUM PAH PAH LAN - a Hokkien term, similar to Bang Balls as in there' snothing one can do about it.

Names on the door

None of us realized we had our very own name-plate to our door, until Aunt Antsy pointed it to us when she came by. God knows how long it has been there since we requested for it late last year. Talk about oblivious. We were not even aware that it was already up.

Unfortunately, the surname is too long to be fitted in here. They have only one standard template. Well, at least we know it would be easier for you to find us when you come knocking on our door.

Now, if only those delivery boys would actually start reading the names on the door before ringing the friggingly loud doorbell to deliver food that are not meant for us.

Happy me time

A day in a life of an employee who gets a birthday leave on a weekday . The BKK weather was still great. Just the perfect day to stay home and do jack all…It's hard to get days like this.

7-ish AM:
Husband does his daily routine of kissing me goodbye before he leaves for work. Sometimes I’m aware, most times not. I was probably just semi-awake and thought I heard him wishing me happy birthday. It sounded far, far away. Remembered me mumbling (he said grunted) thank you and then rolled over with pillows on face. Continue to zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

8-ish:
A call on my mobile phone. Hurriedly picked up and no sound on the other end. My ex-boss , JSeah had hung up and left me confused. Thought it was a call error. Went back to sleep and heard strings of text messages beeping thereafter. Managed to ignore all of it

9-ish:
Donut came for some snuggly time. Obliged and went back to sleep. He persisted a few more times by prancing all over me before he finally gave up.

10-ish:
Another text-message beep. Ignore and try to continue to zzzzzzz

11-ish:
Unwillingly dragged my ass to the bathroom to answer nature’s call. Quite awake by now and thought that I might as well get up.

Made coffee and a few moments later, our guest, Slowboat, emerged with a bright good morning and birthday wishes. He was ready to leave to start his day at the temple and was rushing off. Smell of freshly brewed coffee tempted him to stay and have a cuppa with me.

Made myself coffee with chocolate mint. Yummy

11.40-ish:
Slowboat left me to my own devices. Savour my coffee and decided to shower

12-ish PM:
Feeling great and humming “I feel good” in my head. Whole house to myself. Checked phone and had 4 SMS birthday wishes. Message from my ex-boss JSeah read: “ That was me calling with birthday wishes and pressure to have kids soon. This is your year of reckoning. Enjoy” …Right…he can be a bit boh liao to actually call and hung up.

Replied to everyone to thank them. Log on to the internet. Received 9 more wishes on FB and several on MSN. It’s nice to feel loved!

1-ish:
Andy decided she deserved some snuggle time and would not leave me alone. Indulged in the attention and she happily sprawled next to me and gave me THAT look when I stopped petting her.

Mum texted me a birthday wish…man, I miss her!

Realized that Andy left me some rashes after all that snuggling. She still hasn’t give up rubbing her nose to my face…I’m gonna pay through the nose for this. Violent sneezing has begun…

2-ish –to 5-ish:
Nothing on TV…spent an hour contemplating if I should vacuum, read a book or watch a movie. In the end, I vacuumed and mopped, finished reading “The Surgeon” (exciting book!) and watched a movie.

Husband appeared at 5.30 pm and wished me yet another Happy Birthday while I unglamourously sprawled myself on the couch. So sweet…he came home early for me!

6-ish to 8-ish:
Husband tormented me…asking me to decide if I wanna go out or stay home. Uhmm..tough one, this. I only make decisions in the office. Decided to pass on the decision to Slowboat since it was his last night in Bangkok. Smart Aleck Slowboat doesn’t want to cooperate. He said they should take me to the office so I can make the decision on this. WTF. No fair! *pout*pout*

Finally decided to go out for dinner as I feel like having fish. Husband tormented me again and asked me if I want my prezzie before or after we go out. Decisions, decision. Darn it! Growl. Growl.I left it to him to decide. He said 1 before and 1 after. Oh wow! Two prezzies!

A nano ipod was presented before we left for dinner, from faraway Holland (thanks Mom & Dad!). Yippee! My 6-year old, beat-up-non-functional without power I-Pod is finally replaced. Nice.

Slowboat gave me a book. Apparently, the bugger had ran all the way from Asok to Phrom Phong to make a dash for a bookstore right before it was closed. That’s almost a 1 km run. Silly boy!

Checked FB and there’s a total of more than 25 people who wrote on my wall. Awww…I feel so blessed.

1-ish AM:
Home after a quiet night out. Forgot about the other gift until Husband presented it. Was wondering when the hell was he in Singapore as the gift bore the logo of Lee Hwa. Sneaky, this one! But , I love the unique purple gold necklace. Simple and elegant. Just the way I like it.

A long entry this one...What a day! Time has suddenly lost its relevance and it's only satisfying when you know that you can do this when everyone else is working! :p

Keeping it quiet

Never have the urge to celebrate birthdays in a big way. For me, it's usually a low key affair - dinner with family and a small gathering with friends are just sufficient. I'm not so big on the entire hoolabaloos, but I always make sure that it is the day that I stay away from work! Lucky for me, all the companies I ever worked with have always grant their employees a birthday leave over and above the annual vacation days. How many other companies do that? I'm telling you, a day off on your birthday does wonders to your overall motivation. It is nice to be able to get off work just 1 day of the work week, and of course, rub in other people's faces that you have a legitimate off day to do absolute jack-all while others are at work. Hee..hee!

A knack for foul smell

Call me weird, but yes! My sense of smell is a little bit screwy. Most times, I can't quite pick out scents and even when I'm cooking away, the fragrance from the food on the stove somehow evades me. But, when it comes to bad, foul smell...oh boy! I can pick them up a mile away. I think it's a curse! I'm most susceptible to body odour, armpit smell, foul smelling pee and the likes of it. Most of the time, I can pick out people who don't shower in the morning. There's this sour, stale smell that lingers and unfortunately, they tend to lurk near me in really crowded places like the elevator and inside BTS train where I hardly would have any space to run away. Holding my breath, I can't help but wonder how can they not notice it! They stink to high heavens!

I'm your walking foul-smell tracker. Guaranteed results. So if you are smelly, get away from me. Or you'll hear no end of it! :p

Malaysia did it again!

Malaysia has again helped elevate Islam as a horrendous religion to the world by taking the "Islamic law" into their own hands. 6 strokes of cane to a woman for drinking beer? Granted that drinking alcohol is haram in Islam, but 6 fucking strokes of cane? Ridiculous!

Only to shame and not to inflict pain , they say! Why don't they just ban the selling of alcohol at all establishments in Malaysia so no Muslims can get their hands on these evil drink. But oh! It won't be fair for non-Muslims, people might say, and besides, Malaysian Muslims can still hop over to the neighbouring countries to get their fill of these satanic beverages! Then, why don't they just ban Malaysian Muslims from leaving the country too! God knows what they will be up to that's all frowned upon in Islam, if they ever leave the safe haven of Syariah laws.

Oh, the size of the cane seemed relatively harmless, by the way. Wonder where on the body will it be admistered? On the backside or on the plam of the hand, or shoved it up the arse? Don't worry, you are allowed to have your clothes on!

Wake up, you dumb-wit, backward dingbats! Do you really think these people will be ashamed? If anything, they will be more prejudiced against Islam, all thanks to you! Surely this is not the way to go. Only a few months ago the Syariah court in Malaysia had banned yoga. Yes, yoga! Is this really reflective of moderate Islam? They might as well go back to the stone age and practice cavemenism. Thanks for making Islam look so silly and unrelenting. So much for moderate and modernization in Islam.

Seriously, whatever we humans do as an individual should be the business of that individual and that of the Higher Being alone. It is of no one else's business! Life is not kindergarten! Deal with it.

New Oxford Dictionary (Singapore Edition)

This came in my inbox, courtesy of Vicvanwinkle. Singlish still rocks!

1) LILY - adverb. extremely, really.
"Wah, you lily can sing well ah!"

2) VALLEY - adverb. extremely (same with lily), very.
"Look! My Versachee belt, valley nice hor?"

3) GORGES - adj. stunningly beautiful, gorgeous, normally found with valley.
"Wah! Ah Beng's girlflan is valley gorges leh!"

4) CORAL - verb. to bicker, quarrel
"Why, you not happy, ah? Want to coral, is it?"

5) REEF - (normally followed with coral) to argue with.
"You lily wantto coral reef me ah?"

6) ALTITUDE - adjective. a disagreeable demeanour, attitude
"Ah Lian Lily got a bad altitude ploblem".

7) CIRRUS - adjective. certain. serious
"You cirrus or not? Dun bruff!"

8) CANOPY - phrase. impossible, cannot be
"He bought new handphone? Canopy lah! Where got money?"

9) OLDLADY - adjective. completed, already
"Wah...you finish oldlady ah."

10) SUIT - verb. to project forward, shoot
"Suit! Suit! See goalkeeper come out oldlady."

11) SOW - verb. to reveal, show
"Sow me, sow me your new ting."

12) LOAD - noun. a path normally made up of gravel & tar, road
"We go Orchard Load leh."

13) BLINK - verb. deliver, send, bring
"What you blink for me? Sow me, sow me."

You like the above joking or not harr? Got some more?

It's freezing up North!

The weather has gone berzerk right here in Thailand! I wasn't kidding when I last mentioned of cold Bangkok. In the North of Thailand, the cold is getting worse indeed. As quoted by Daily Express: "residents have been waking up to frost after the temperature crept below zero in some areas". Quite bizzare.

Annoying Traits

I somehow think that my forehead is emblazoned with an “annoy me” sign... People seemed to just feed on my pet peeves, and secretly, I so badly want to give these inconsiderate idiots a real good smack on their heads. I’m especially annoyed when encountering the following:

1. Whatever possess people to continue yakking away between opened elevator door - one already on the inside of the elevator, the other still on the outside and holding up 15 other people in the same elevator who essentially are waiting for these 2 clowns to stop talking

2. People, who, right before stepping onto the escalator, decide to stop right at the mouth of the escalator to either a) discuss things with the person/persons they are with b) wait for their troops to catch up with them. For some reason, they are generally oblivious to the fact that there are people right behind them wanting to either go up/down that very escalator

3. Those who hogs the only working ATM machine around as they concurrently deciding how much money they need to draw and repeatedly draw out small amounts at a time, while 10 other people are waiting in line.

Makes me wanna give a back-hand swat to the back of their heads so hard that their eyes and teeth will pop out of their pretty faces! Is it really that hard to exercise a little bit of consideration, people!

The Accidental Resident Aggressor

Never startle a reposed, snuggling cat! A mere movement of the hand had stunned Donut and in a quick, agitated reflex action bolted up, sprung up on Silver Bullet and accidentally left several painful scratches. Ouch!

Perhaps, this is his way of saying he is sorry. It was a quite refreshing sight since Donut is usually not affectionate with Silver Bullet!

Cats...you gotta love them. You can't really get upset with them for too long...:p

Beware...

One can never be too careful. Only yesterday, we have a royally pissed off Dutch friend who could not get on his flight back home. Upon check-in, he was told that his ticket was suspended as it was essentially purchased on a stolen credit card. It was completely unexpected for him as he has actually asked his friend to book him a cheaper flight. No problems coming into Bangkok whatsoever. They probably caught on later and poor dude was stranded just a few hours before the plane was due to leave and had to book another flight. What and how it all happened was a mystery and open to speculations.

Moral of the story: Do all bookings yourselves and if you have to have a friend book it for you, make sure you absolutely trust the fella!

Have a safe trip home, Nik!

Cold Bangkok

Bangkok has been surprisingly cool again...to the point of being COLD in the last few days! Hard to imagine, I know since I'm usually the big wuss when it comes to cold weather. But when Silver Bullet starts to put on socks at home, that's really saying something. We are actually going around the house in socks and I'm wrapped up in my pashmina all day. Even the parquet flooring feels really icy to the feet. Chilly winds are blowing into the apartment and you'll be shivering just standing at the balcony. Seems like today's temperature has reached to a low 13°C. This coming week's low temperature are all forecasted to be below 20° C! Really strange weather these days! But, hey...it's nice. I'm not complaining and we really like the low electricity bills!

Fried Rice

Fried Rice or fondly known as Fly Lice in Thailand is really one of the simplest meal to make in a jiffy. This is the one dish where anything leftover can be used and all you have to do is chuck them in altogether. Add in all poisons* to your hearts' content; minus fly and lice.

Ingredients

• 4-5 tbsp oil
• 200g chicken/beef - diced or sliced
• 1-2 red onions - sliced
• 3 green chillies, 3 red chillies - sliced (reduce chillies & de-seed for less spicy)
• 2 garlic - sliced
• 1 potato (skinned, cubed and stir fry separately)
• vegetables (cabbage/long beans/corn-peas-carrot mix)
• 2 eggs
• salt to taste
• 2 cupful of uncooked rice (boiled and apparently better if left overnight)
  

Optional:

• *Poisons: Fishballs, Sotong (Squid) balls, Fresh Prawns, Squid, Fish meat, Crab meat, Anchovies etc
• 2 tbsp light soy sauce
• 3 tbsp dark soy sauce (kicap manis)
• 3 tbsp tomato ketchup

Method:

1. Blend onions, chillies and garlic together in a blender with some water. Alternatively, you can also choose to pound them together with mortar and pestle
2. If using meat, fry the meat first in oil till slightly browned. For beef, I usually boil them first to tenderize before frying, as the beef found here tend to be quite chewy
3. Add in the blended ingredients and mix in together with the meat for about 10-15 minutes and then chuck in all poisons desired
4. Fry till the paste in the pan becomes slightly dry
5. Then add in the soy sauces and tomato ketchup. Using soy sauce, especially the dark ones is more of an Indonesian influence. Tomato ketchup is more of an Indian Nasi Goreng Singapore style (although I really have no idea of the true ingredients that makes up the Indian Nasi Goreng in Singapore!)
6. Add salt to taste
7. Add in vegetables and rice on top of the mixture and lid it up to simmer for a few minutes
8. Then mix them all together and make sure that the paste is evenly distributed to the rice
9. Add in taters and at this point, you can create a hole in the pan and break in the eggs to stir them in.
10. Alternative, you can choose to fry the eggs and serve it on top of the rice
11. Garnish with keropoks, spring onion, coriander and cucumber

Enjoy!

From the inbox

Mother Earth mass forwarded some pretty funny pictures to my in-box that left me chuckling to myself.

"Me-First"

Stay off the course. Or else.

Diversionary Tactic

Surgeon's Advice?

Dumb Danish Dane

For some reason, I have always been so damn lucky as to be honoured in meeting people who just are weirdos of the world. One of these incidents presented itself recently where a complete stranger, approached me through a friend, whom she would have just met 15 minutes earlier. In truth, she actually had a small conversation with me in English before she asked Uncle Schuurhof to approach me on what she wanted.

Uncle Schuurhof, on the other hand, had already explained to me earlier on her request and I got all that message in a blink of an eye. I was thinking of how to reply “NO” to her nicely when this blonde Danish girl butted in and in that few moments, managed to offend me by starting with, “ Dooo…yoouuuuu…speaaaakkkk…Eeengglisshhhhh….?” Perhaps, she didn’t mean it but the tone was pretty damn condescending! The way she stretched her words so very slowly and speaking to me like I’m some retard who could not understand or string any English words together, peeved me a little. Is it because I looked Asian and all Asians can’t understand or speak English?

So, I do what I do best - be annoying and acted like the idiot she may have assumed in her mind. Armed with a well-enunciated and grammatically correct usage of the language, I actually replied in English with , "No, I'm so sorry. I do not speak English". I then gave a wide-eyed grin to Silver Bullet who was next to me and then turn to her with my ultimate dumb look and blankest stare I could conjur up while she spoke to me. All this while, Uncle Schuurhof was telling Dumb Danish Dane that I’m from Singapore and my command of English was probably better than both of them combined! She doesn’t seem to get it and proceeded to ask if I could speak Spanish. She went on and on, in what I thought was a halting and half-witted Spanish, about wanting to borrow my sweater and as a collateral, offered me her bottle of shampoo of some sort. She continued blabbering about her hair and how she could not live without her shampoo; and that she’d willingly give up her 25 ml shampoo for my sweater. By now, I couldn’t keep a straight face anymore and burst out laughing so hard that I began rolling on the ground. Think she got offended and while I was laughing my ass off on the floor, she had walked away from us and never to be seen again for the rest of the night. I know it seemed mean, but I really could not help it!

I admit I don’t want to lend her my sweater and I could have been more gracious about it. It need not have happened that way for her too - had she not sounded so presumptiously patronizing. And really…NO I don’t want my favourite sweater on some strange, stinky angmoh’s body and have it returned to me all filthy later (or if returned at all!). NO, Singaporean is not equal to Spanish and this Singaporean most unfortunately, neither speak nor understand Spanish. And NO, I do not care for your shampoo and whatever the hell it does to your hair in exchange for my sweater. What an insult to a sweater!

What a moron. The term “Dumb Blonde” holds true!

Ghosts...?

Word has it that taxi drivers are refusing to take passengers to anywhere along Ekkamai for fear of ghosts! A Thai colleague complained that she was stranded for awhile and not being able to take her cat to the vet located at Ekkamai as no cabbie would want to go anywhere near there. In the end, she had to get on a motorbike, fluff in arms and paid a hefty 150 baht (~SGD 6.25) for the 10-minutes ride to the vet, which otherwise would have costed less than 30 baht (~SGD 1.25) baht from her place. The bike had also taken a detour from where she lived and consciously avoided having to pass-through Santika, thus prolonging commuting time. It won't be surprising to hear if Thai residents of Ekkamai will now shift out of their homes pretty soon!

The only ghosts I'm seeing really is the money-grubbing kind.

An eye-witness perspective

Previous posting of the Santika tragedy was based on what were reported in various news publications. There's always another side to a coin as an opinion piece from an eye-witness of the horrific tragedy provided some perspectives to those on the sidelines. Always a relief to know that there were some helping hands throughout the whole ordeal; although it is human nature to give this guy the flack. I would agree, however, that it is quite appaling to know that the bystanders would rather record people dying on their mobile phones rather than offering their help at that point in time. What's worse is that it really is not that hard to believe or imagine such actions from the public. Almost expected! Sad.

Just heavenly

This has gotta be the MOTHER of all chocolates! Say what you will on what you know about possibly better chocolates out there...put one of these in your mouth and there's no turning back. Just heavenly, simply mouth watering and orgasmic! I'm generally not a big fan of bitter, dark chocolates, but Royce Nama Bitter has got me completely hooked!

Available in the vicinity of supermarkets in the bigger malls around Bangkok like Emporium, Central and Paragon at 450 baht per box of 20 pieces.

No surprises here - TiT*!

Come new year, there's bound to be an increased number of death toll on the roads in Thailand. Drunk driving and speeding, likely simultaneously and not mutually exclusive, are key contributors to accidents in this country as reported by both The Nation and The Bangkok Post.

I suppose it's OK - since there are about 60 million Thais in this country, more than 3000 people dead will hardly make a dent to the entire population.

When will they learn that drinking and driving just do not go together! It's appaling that I actually know of colleagues who would not think twice about driving themselves and another colleague home after a hard drinking session. It's fine if they are the ones who ended up dead, but don't they ever pause and think that their actions has consequences to other people - drivers and pedestrians alike who are actually sober?

* TiT: This is Thailand

Goodbye Santika

Unfortunately, the theme of the party seemed apt, as the last day of operation ended up in a deadly blaze, killing more than 50 revellers and still rising. It is also almost a prophetic ending as apparently, the name of the opening band of the night was "Burn". Talk about coincidence. Times of London had reported the news quite well.

But seriously, who in the right mind would consider a pyrotechnic display IN the club itself? That is just plain stupid. What's more disconcerting was that the revellers were given firecrakers to be lighted up IN the club. What's wrong with these people? It's just a disaster waiting to happen.

The staff of Santika managed to escape as they seemed to be the only ones who knew of the other exits. This perturbed me greatly and in my opinion, a classic example of the selfish mentality of the Thais - only out for themselves. If the staff knew about this all along, why oh why couldn't they direct or perhaps, inform the other people who were not aware of this fact? I can imagine the mayhem and perhaps, I just don't know any better. However, I would imagine that in such a disaster where everyone was in it, one would have the decency to help each other along (including mentioning the existence of other exits!), rather than pushing people out of their way just to save their own asses! Excuse my French, but it is all fucking bullshit! The selfish mentality is unacceptable!

Having used to live in Ekkamai for more than a year, I'm really glad I'm no longer residing there. It is not a pleasant street to live in, especially now that Santika has become some sort of a shrine, attracting more visitors to pray for the dead - contributing to an even more deadlocked traffic than already necessary. Despite only a short 10-mins walk from my Ekkamai apartment to Santika then, I never have the desire to patronize the place. I have never been to Santika and looks like, I really didn't miss all that much.

Given the terrible traffic along Ekkamai, I wonder how long did it take for the fire brigades to get to the scene. I'm hoping no one I know were there that night. May the victims all rest in peace.

Here's one of the better videos from youtube:

Still cool and breezy

It's nice to know that Bangkok is still nicely breezy and cool. Just the perfect weather to go take a stroll in the park...only there really isn't one nearby that's worthwhile to go to! And the fact that Sunday is usually a stay-home day and be a couch potato...strolling in the park sounds quite ardous. :p

Wonder how much longer will the weather hold out in Bangkok.

Koh Tao: The Flavour

To be fair, there are probably worse places to get stuck in than laid-back Koh Tao. We all didn't mind that extra day at all.

How often are we able to do absolutely nothing for several days, lazing around at the beachside restaurant in the nice breezy tropical weather in a quiet paradize island? Times like this, we need to savour the moment! ;)

Some random shots of the Koh Tao trip:

Koh Tao: The Experience

The New Year's party held in the mountain area of the island was fantastic and fabulously lighted up. There's nothing much one could ask for with awesome music and great company in a natural setting of the forest.

The boys decided to light up the Thai lantern in welcoming midnight into 2009. Really cool stuff and we were the first one to set it off into the wind. Happy New Year!