Bedtime routine

If there is just one thing we did right when we became new parents almost 4 months ago, it was to start Spud on a bedtime routine when she was roughly about 3 weeks old.

I don’t know what made us decide to embark on it, but I guess after a rough start, we both wanted just a teeny weenie bit of normalcy so as to be able to cope better. It still is one of the smartest decisions we ever made. Since then, (I’ll probably be jinxing it by mentioning this!), we have been able to have a sit-down dinner T.O.G.E.T.H.E.R and then wind down for the night before we go to bed 2-3 hours later.

A typical bedtime routine for Spud is like this:

6.30 pm:

• Sponge bath and change to her PJ
• Walk around the house to say goodnight to the nanny, the three cats and her toys
• Transfer her to the bedroom where the lights are dimmed
• Turn on her lullaby
• Swaddle (we did this till she was about 3 months old, after which it became an impossible task as she demonstrated her silent, but violent objection to it by strongly wriggling like worm)
• Feed (We stopped feeding her milk in the room before bedtime once we introduced her to solids, as she'll have her milk right after dinner)
• Place her in her own cot
• Read her a book (when she is not too cranky) - Since she was 10 months old, she tolerates the book better, and would insist that we read it to her firstbefore putting her in bed.
• Kiss and say goodnight
• Close the door behind us

7pm

• She is usually out cold

Sometimes, Spud will fall asleep at the breasts when she is being fed. Other times, she does not want to be fed and will flash her silly grins to tell you that she is still wide awake, in a fairly good mood and not really ready for bed (Although, we can tell she’s spent!). Sometimes she is a sea of calmness or at times, decides that she’d be better off fussing away to keep her parents occupied.

We never know with this child.

But while we follow her cues, we have also exercised some tough love when we put her down for bed. This is usually the time when we let her cry and put her on our 10-minute rule. Chances are, if she is still crying when we close the door behind us, she tends to stop well within the 10 minutes frame. When she appears wide awake and isn’t crying, she is able to fall asleep on her own after we leave the room.

We initially started her bedtime routine as early as 5pm and even as late as 8.30pm; but tweaked it over time till we found a time which worked for both Spud and us. It did take us some time, patience and consistency to get it right.

Since we stuck to our guns and conscientiously abide by the routine, over time, Spud got used to her evening ritual and knows that it’s bedtime. She still pushes her luck and fusses away every now and again, refusing to go to bed; but unlike her daytime naps, she ultimately succumbs to a deep slumber quite quickly for hours at a stretch.

This is also the time when we go “phew!”;  and for me, it is the bestest part of the evening. It does not mean I love her any less; it’s just that nothing beats the “oh! I-finally-can-wind-down and be an adult again” feeling.

That few hours of peace and quiet allow us to have the much needed “us” time which may otherwise be forgotten. It is possibly the most important part of the day where we catch up with each other’s day, then talk about Spud and how her poo looks like over dinner, watch some TV and just couch it out.

That  “phew" is also much more loaded that that – for us, it is a reminder that we have painstakingly survived yet another day of parenthood, and regardless of how trying it can be, we know in our hearts that everything will somehow, be alright.