OnePerang’s Engagement

My little brother is all grown up! He is now engaged to be married following his engagement ceremony which came to its fruition on 7th February last weekend.

Never in my life have I ever attended a traditional Malay engagement ceremony before. Not once! Hence, I was pretty much the clueless one around and don’t really know what to expect. Being the non-conformist me, I did away with such things amongst other expected traditional things I can get out of; and get on to what’s only necessary – and that’s the rites of the nikah. Ok, ok, this is not about me, but that’s my opinion, so deal with it.

The Malay community generally places high regard in the Adat Pertunangan (betrothal), aka Engagement Ceremony. The Malay traditional engagement ceremony actually crystallizes the verbal agreement made during the previous visit from the groom’s side in asking for the bride’s hand in marriage.

On the day itself, we had a busload of relatives as representatives from my side of the family as well as OnePerang’s close friends, going over to the Bride-To-Be’s (BTB) place bearing trays of gifts. While the engagement ring and dowry are deemed compulsory as per agreed by both sides of the family, the rest were really just gifts from the relatives to the BTB. Upon reaching the BTB’s place, everyone was seated on the floor of the house in a circle with all the gifts displayed in the middle of the room. There’s the welcome and introduction as both sides address each other about the coming union where references are made to the gifts to reaffirm what was agreed upon earlier. A small prayer session was held first prior to the highlight of putting the engagement ring on the BTB’s finger. Meanwhile, the BTB is seated in her room all dressed up in her finest traditional dress awaiting in anticipation for the ring to be slipped on her finger. Then it’s photos, photos and more photo sessions, after which we were treated to sumptuous servings of food.

At the end of the engagement ceremony, the exchange of gifts was carried out before the Groom-To-Be (GTB) delegation leaves for home. It is also part of the Malay custom that the GTB does not attend the ceremony and stayed behind to receive guests back home.

Back home an hour later, another small prayer session was held to officiate the closing of the engagement ceremony. This was promptly followed by putting the engagement ring from the BTB to the GTB by Mom before another round of feasting. I then got busy making sure that everyone is served, fed and entertained till the last guest leave for the night.

That, my friends, was an eye-witness account of the series of events I managed to capture in my caboodled mind of a traditional Malay engagement ceremony. It all seemed ritualistic and almost grand. Indeed, it was quite an eye opener for me and to be involved in the entire thing is quite an honour.

I’m sure that the Groom and Bride-To-Be are both gonna be busy planning for their forthcoming wedding day. Congrats Younglings!

Gifts from GTB to BTB

BTB adorned with Engagement Ring

Gifts from BTB to GTB

Mom putting on ring from BTB on her son and the union celebrated by friends

Mom & Silver Bullet sharing a gossip session

(Silver Bullet was as sick as a dog when this pic was taken, btw)