Twenty -11 into Twenty-12

Three years of blogging and despite the dwindling number of posts I published on a monthly basis since I first started, I am still beaming with glee that to date, I still have not run out of things to say.

I guess that can only be a good thing.

While I sometimes do hit a mental-block in trying to figure out what to write, there are always the random, mundane but sometimes funny every-day stuff which I may be able to count on to add to my daily musings and thoughts.

I'll remember 2011 as the year in which I struggle with a lot of work-life challenges as I cope with the toxic environment of negative office politics while  I try to maintain some sense of  sanity in my work-life-baby balance.

For a while now, unbeknown to most, the negativity at work got under my skin so bad that I lose my self-confidence as a qualified professional in my industry.Somehow, there seem to be a force strong enough to make my every day work life a living hell with the existence of an "upper-hand"; mainly in the form of very unsavoury and uncalled for behaviors and/or remarks being hurled towards me. Not for any particular reasons that I know of, but "just because" this person can.

I began to question myself and my capability as I got bullied into a corner I can't seem to get out of. It was not healthy. I was at my lowest low.

Despite having my fair share of nasty and wicked clients in my more than a decade of experience in this industry, I have never experienced first-hand a very negative office environment for months on end where I witnessed (and personally experienced) several cases of utter unfairness,  "effective" bullying, dramatised story-lines and exaggerated pretension driven by just one person.

The "competition"  perpetrated within was unhealthy, making the local Thais feel small, and me feel incompetent as someone else gets singled out for most of the time with what seemed like a preferential treatment.

It was a rather tough time for me as decisions were made to pull subordinates out of my team. In my absence. Twice. Leaving me and 2 other remaining members to sort out all the shit, while I try to deflect the poisonous arrows that come my way when they do.

I'd like to believe that karma exists and from my observation, all that happened to me in the work place was just a classic case of bullying and I happen to be the flavour of the month(s).

While it still happens every now and then (lesser these days), I'd like to think that I have come out of it stronger by  merely disassociating myself with people whom I don't give a crap about. While I acknowledge that while this person still has authority over me, I am adamant that my life is not going to be destroyed just because of how they behave towards me while this person lobbies support for their camp as they need to feel so much more superior and smarter than everyone else.

I have since peeled myself away from all that nonsense and am now only associating myself with them on a "need-to" basis.

They are exactly the type of people I don't desire to be friends with or have any respect for. To put it in my context, I am, after all, an introvert in the extroverts' world. They don't add value to my life, and besides, I have better things to worry about.

I don't foresee Twenty-12 being a breeze for me on the work-front, but Twenty-11 has left me with a lot of new enlightenment not only as a person, but as a wife and as a mother.  I have come out the other end a little scarred, but unscathed...hopefully with a lot more wits about me from the school of life. 

The journey of life continues and to my readers out there, thank you once again for your readership, contribution and most of all for being on this journey with me so far.

Here's wishing you all a fabulous holiday season, and may the joy and happiness follow you all the way through 2012. Happy New Year!

Father-Daugher Bonding

I am so in love with the sight of these...

Silver Bullet entertaining Spud with a "where is it game", and Spud guessing where the object in question was hidden in one of Silver Bullet's palm.

They were so into this game that neither realised that I was watching from afar and took a candid shot of them.

Mom's Nasi Lemak

One of the luxuries of being close to one's parents is the accessibility to home-cooked food. Not just any other home-cooked meal, but Mom's home-made dishes and most likely the best tasting dishes I could ever have in the whole wide world!

Whilst thinking about food yet again just a few days ago, I am being reminded by our last visit to Singapore where my Mom had, (at my request, no doubt!), took the effort to painstakingly prepare her authentic Nasi Lemak for dear ole' me.

It was decided that our picnic-cum-meet-friends trip to the Botanical Gardens was to be accompanied not only by Mom in person, but also by packs of  Nasi Lemaks especially prepared by my Mom - wrapped in brown paper and banana leaves and all!  Just like an authentic Nasi Lemak would be.

It was in fact, more than just a Nasi Lemak. It was Nasi Lemak and more as for me, it brought back some childhood memories of mine where I remember my mom bringing food from home wherever we went - be it to the Botanical Gardens, to the zoo or to the beach. We were hardly exposed to fast-food available and to date, I still remember the lingering smell of home-cooked food coming out from a packed tupperware with a sentimental attachment to it.

There is so much fondness attached to home-made food...an experience so priceless and out of this world that the first thing I wanted to do as I laid down the mat on the grass was to feed myself with Mom's Nasi Lemak as quickly as I can.

It was simple, yet so extraordinary. It was a dish made out of  unconditional love.

Incognito

I’m re-posting this story here from a recent link I found on FB:

"In Washington DC , at a Metro Station, on a cold January morning in 2007, a man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, approximately 2000 people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.

After about four minutes, a middle-aged man noticed that there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds, and then he hurried on to meet his schedule.

About four minutes later, the violinist received his first dollar. A woman threw money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk.

At six minutes, a young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.

At ten minutes, a three-year old boy stopped, but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head the whole time. This action was repeated by several other children, but every parent - without exception - forced their children to move on quickly.

At forty-five minutes: The musician played continuously. Only six people stopped and listened for a short while. About twenty gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace. The man collected a total of $32.

After one hour:

He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed and no one applauded. There was no recognition at all.

No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before, Joshua Bell sold-out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100 each to sit and listen to him play the same music.

This is a true story. Joshua Bell, playing incognito in the D.C. Metro Station, was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people’s priorities.

This experiment raised several questions:

• In a common-place environment, at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty?
• If so, do we stop to appreciate it?
• Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?

One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this:

If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made…

How many other things are we missing as we rush through life?"

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I am not a fan of violin-ish music and ignorant-me don’t actually have a clue who Joshua Bell is. But, in a way, this article speaks for itself and I have got nothing more to add to the conclusion.

However, in the context that he is such an internationally recognized, talented musician that he is as perpetrated by society, it makes me wonder if Joshua Bell was bummed by the responses he got!

He is kind of cute, though.

Nice send-off for Gramms

Spud must have had a ball in the last week where she seems to be enjoying the attention that was showered upon her, day-in, day out for almost 10 straight days.

While it does take her a few days to warm up to my parents (isn’t it always the case!), once she gets used to them, she bonds with them pretty easily. In fact, after only a few days, Spud called out Nya-yi (Grandma) and Yai-yi (Grandpa) quite quickly.

Very soon, she expects her Nya-yi to come along with her and her Nanny whenever she is due for her play-time downstairs. According to my mom, Spud just does not ask it by saying “Nya-yi?” accompanied by a questioning look when the Nanny puts on her shoes for her, but also waiting for her Nya-yi to walk out of the door as she waits for my mother to waddle along after her.

It does look like they bonded well.

Spud must have a lot of fun with her Gramms, though, for when we sent my parents off to the airport, she somehow gravitated towards my Mom and asked to be carried - something which had not happened before, especially when both Silver Bullet and me were around at the same time.

So, carried Spud in her arms my mom did, and Spud willingly let herself be carried – which is not usually the case. Spud was even very generous with her kisses and hugs as we stood around at the departure area.

What struck me as a little suprising was when we tried to say our good-byes and tried to take Spud back, Spud was pretty vehement that she did not want us to take her and did want to let her Nya-yi go. In fact, she clung on to Nya-yi as if she was clinging on to her dear life, screaming her head off when we touched her. She was visibly upset – something neither Silver Bullet nor me had expected. (this was when I rushed for the camera, but by then, she was already getting quite antsy!)

She finally let go when my Mom gently released her back down on the floor. Spud was not looking too happy, but at least she let out a “bye” after being prompted several times; an indication that she was ready to say her bye for us to (or let them) leave.

All in all, we thought Spud did a nice sent-off for her Gramms. It was completely unexpected, but it turned out to be something worth remembering.

Singapore’s changing demographic

Our last visit to Singapore was a strange one…it somehow made me feel like I was the foreigner in my own country.

It was not because of the fact that I had been away for so long (I feel that I am still a true-blue Singaporean!), but mainly because everywhere we went, we were not surrounded by fellow Singaporeans. And if you think it is because, we only went to “atas” place where all “atas people” or foreigners congregate, you are absolutely wrong!

We were in the heartlands of Singapore and as heartland as a heartland can get - yet the retail and service staffs at the retail outlets are all mostly staffed by China –Chinese or Filipinos.

But before you go judging me at this point of being anti-foreigners, let me reiterate here that I have no interest to harbor hatred for foreigners or being an advocate to being racist.  In fact, I believe that I am far from being racist given that my husband is not of my own race, and that my friends and acquaintances are from all sorts of nationality and races, from being Chinese to Filipinos and even Indians from India.

That point made clear, I am posting this based merely on my observation while doing a quick shopping in a very heartland neighbourhood shopping mall. I was more surprised than anything else to discover that while shopping at Giordano, all 3 service staffs on duties were Filipinas – which was perfectly fine until I hear them speaking only Tagalog to each other right in front of other fellow Singaporean customers. What happened to English as Singapore’s first language?

While I acknowledged that there may be a few other Filipinos shopping at the same time, I can’t help but felt some sense of awkwardness to it all as it was almost like I was shopping in the Phillipines! At another venue, I was even addressed in Tagalog! (Ok. So yes, I know I can easily pass off as a Filipina too, but still…!)

Even the shops at the vicinity of Giordano were mostly staffed by either Filipinos or Chinese from China (one can tell from their very distinct accent), and I can attest that every 2 out of 3 service staff I encountered were all foreigners. This even extended to service staff working at Singapore’s Changi International Airport.

I was wondering if I was just being paranoid as suddenly, it appearsed that Singaporeans have become a rare breed in Singapore. It surprised me further that I would probably have to squint and look really hard to find a service staff that is born-and-bread Singaporean – not that there are none, but just hardER to find.

And perhaps, not at all surprising as well given the latest statistics from Wiki stated that 40% of Singapore’s resident are foreigners, one of the highest percentage in the world (See Demographic: Paragraph 4)

It does make me wonder what other fellow Singaporeans have to say about this phenomenon. There is more to this than meets the eye.

Suddenly, for the first time in my life, outside the safe haven of my parents’ home, I felt like I was the foreigner in my own country.

Central's Kids' Area

Tucked away in a corner on the 5^th floor of Central Chidlom, we (actually Silver Bullet!) have recently discovered an almost perfect play area to bring Spud to when we run out of ideas as to where to go to keep her occupied.

While at one point we are always on the 5^th floor to look for baby stuff almost every weekend for months on end, we have somehow missed this little play area for little tots to tumble around. It is very close to the changing area, and we must have changed Spud there for countless number of times in the last 16 months! Yet, we have never spotted this before and it made us wonder if this is just a new thing or have we really missed it.

Called the Central Friendly Land, it is like a super-mini version of the Funarium. It is very close to our home and best of all, it cost only 40 baht for the whole day with parents entering free!

Spud loves tumbling about the very child-proof area and I’m sure she had a blast.

Surely one of the best ways to keep her occupied and tire her out by the end of the day.