Twenty -11 into Twenty-12

Three years of blogging and despite the dwindling number of posts I published on a monthly basis since I first started, I am still beaming with glee that to date, I still have not run out of things to say.

I guess that can only be a good thing.

While I sometimes do hit a mental-block in trying to figure out what to write, there are always the random, mundane but sometimes funny every-day stuff which I may be able to count on to add to my daily musings and thoughts.

I'll remember 2011 as the year in which I struggle with a lot of work-life challenges as I cope with the toxic environment of negative office politics while  I try to maintain some sense of  sanity in my work-life-baby balance.

For a while now, unbeknown to most, the negativity at work got under my skin so bad that I lose my self-confidence as a qualified professional in my industry.Somehow, there seem to be a force strong enough to make my every day work life a living hell with the existence of an "upper-hand"; mainly in the form of very unsavoury and uncalled for behaviors and/or remarks being hurled towards me. Not for any particular reasons that I know of, but "just because" this person can.

I began to question myself and my capability as I got bullied into a corner I can't seem to get out of. It was not healthy. I was at my lowest low.

Despite having my fair share of nasty and wicked clients in my more than a decade of experience in this industry, I have never experienced first-hand a very negative office environment for months on end where I witnessed (and personally experienced) several cases of utter unfairness,  "effective" bullying, dramatised story-lines and exaggerated pretension driven by just one person.

The "competition"  perpetrated within was unhealthy, making the local Thais feel small, and me feel incompetent as someone else gets singled out for most of the time with what seemed like a preferential treatment.

It was a rather tough time for me as decisions were made to pull subordinates out of my team. In my absence. Twice. Leaving me and 2 other remaining members to sort out all the shit, while I try to deflect the poisonous arrows that come my way when they do.

I'd like to believe that karma exists and from my observation, all that happened to me in the work place was just a classic case of bullying and I happen to be the flavour of the month(s).

While it still happens every now and then (lesser these days), I'd like to think that I have come out of it stronger by  merely disassociating myself with people whom I don't give a crap about. While I acknowledge that while this person still has authority over me, I am adamant that my life is not going to be destroyed just because of how they behave towards me while this person lobbies support for their camp as they need to feel so much more superior and smarter than everyone else.

I have since peeled myself away from all that nonsense and am now only associating myself with them on a "need-to" basis.

They are exactly the type of people I don't desire to be friends with or have any respect for. To put it in my context, I am, after all, an introvert in the extroverts' world. They don't add value to my life, and besides, I have better things to worry about.

I don't foresee Twenty-12 being a breeze for me on the work-front, but Twenty-11 has left me with a lot of new enlightenment not only as a person, but as a wife and as a mother.  I have come out the other end a little scarred, but unscathed...hopefully with a lot more wits about me from the school of life. 

The journey of life continues and to my readers out there, thank you once again for your readership, contribution and most of all for being on this journey with me so far.

Here's wishing you all a fabulous holiday season, and may the joy and happiness follow you all the way through 2012. Happy New Year!

Father-Daugher Bonding

I am so in love with the sight of these...

Silver Bullet entertaining Spud with a "where is it game", and Spud guessing where the object in question was hidden in one of Silver Bullet's palm.

They were so into this game that neither realised that I was watching from afar and took a candid shot of them.

Mom's Nasi Lemak

One of the luxuries of being close to one's parents is the accessibility to home-cooked food. Not just any other home-cooked meal, but Mom's home-made dishes and most likely the best tasting dishes I could ever have in the whole wide world!

Whilst thinking about food yet again just a few days ago, I am being reminded by our last visit to Singapore where my Mom had, (at my request, no doubt!), took the effort to painstakingly prepare her authentic Nasi Lemak for dear ole' me.

It was decided that our picnic-cum-meet-friends trip to the Botanical Gardens was to be accompanied not only by Mom in person, but also by packs of  Nasi Lemaks especially prepared by my Mom - wrapped in brown paper and banana leaves and all!  Just like an authentic Nasi Lemak would be.

It was in fact, more than just a Nasi Lemak. It was Nasi Lemak and more as for me, it brought back some childhood memories of mine where I remember my mom bringing food from home wherever we went - be it to the Botanical Gardens, to the zoo or to the beach. We were hardly exposed to fast-food available and to date, I still remember the lingering smell of home-cooked food coming out from a packed tupperware with a sentimental attachment to it.

There is so much fondness attached to home-made food...an experience so priceless and out of this world that the first thing I wanted to do as I laid down the mat on the grass was to feed myself with Mom's Nasi Lemak as quickly as I can.

It was simple, yet so extraordinary. It was a dish made out of  unconditional love.

Incognito

I’m re-posting this story here from a recent link I found on FB:

"In Washington DC , at a Metro Station, on a cold January morning in 2007, a man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, approximately 2000 people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.

After about four minutes, a middle-aged man noticed that there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds, and then he hurried on to meet his schedule.

About four minutes later, the violinist received his first dollar. A woman threw money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk.

At six minutes, a young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.

At ten minutes, a three-year old boy stopped, but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head the whole time. This action was repeated by several other children, but every parent - without exception - forced their children to move on quickly.

At forty-five minutes: The musician played continuously. Only six people stopped and listened for a short while. About twenty gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace. The man collected a total of $32.

After one hour:

He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed and no one applauded. There was no recognition at all.

No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before, Joshua Bell sold-out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100 each to sit and listen to him play the same music.

This is a true story. Joshua Bell, playing incognito in the D.C. Metro Station, was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people’s priorities.

This experiment raised several questions:

• In a common-place environment, at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty?
• If so, do we stop to appreciate it?
• Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?

One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this:

If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made…

How many other things are we missing as we rush through life?"

---------------------------------------------

I am not a fan of violin-ish music and ignorant-me don’t actually have a clue who Joshua Bell is. But, in a way, this article speaks for itself and I have got nothing more to add to the conclusion.

However, in the context that he is such an internationally recognized, talented musician that he is as perpetrated by society, it makes me wonder if Joshua Bell was bummed by the responses he got!

He is kind of cute, though.

Nice send-off for Gramms

Spud must have had a ball in the last week where she seems to be enjoying the attention that was showered upon her, day-in, day out for almost 10 straight days.

While it does take her a few days to warm up to my parents (isn’t it always the case!), once she gets used to them, she bonds with them pretty easily. In fact, after only a few days, Spud called out Nya-yi (Grandma) and Yai-yi (Grandpa) quite quickly.

Very soon, she expects her Nya-yi to come along with her and her Nanny whenever she is due for her play-time downstairs. According to my mom, Spud just does not ask it by saying “Nya-yi?” accompanied by a questioning look when the Nanny puts on her shoes for her, but also waiting for her Nya-yi to walk out of the door as she waits for my mother to waddle along after her.

It does look like they bonded well.

Spud must have a lot of fun with her Gramms, though, for when we sent my parents off to the airport, she somehow gravitated towards my Mom and asked to be carried - something which had not happened before, especially when both Silver Bullet and me were around at the same time.

So, carried Spud in her arms my mom did, and Spud willingly let herself be carried – which is not usually the case. Spud was even very generous with her kisses and hugs as we stood around at the departure area.

What struck me as a little suprising was when we tried to say our good-byes and tried to take Spud back, Spud was pretty vehement that she did not want us to take her and did want to let her Nya-yi go. In fact, she clung on to Nya-yi as if she was clinging on to her dear life, screaming her head off when we touched her. She was visibly upset – something neither Silver Bullet nor me had expected. (this was when I rushed for the camera, but by then, she was already getting quite antsy!)

She finally let go when my Mom gently released her back down on the floor. Spud was not looking too happy, but at least she let out a “bye” after being prompted several times; an indication that she was ready to say her bye for us to (or let them) leave.

All in all, we thought Spud did a nice sent-off for her Gramms. It was completely unexpected, but it turned out to be something worth remembering.

Singapore’s changing demographic

Our last visit to Singapore was a strange one…it somehow made me feel like I was the foreigner in my own country.

It was not because of the fact that I had been away for so long (I feel that I am still a true-blue Singaporean!), but mainly because everywhere we went, we were not surrounded by fellow Singaporeans. And if you think it is because, we only went to “atas” place where all “atas people” or foreigners congregate, you are absolutely wrong!

We were in the heartlands of Singapore and as heartland as a heartland can get - yet the retail and service staffs at the retail outlets are all mostly staffed by China –Chinese or Filipinos.

But before you go judging me at this point of being anti-foreigners, let me reiterate here that I have no interest to harbor hatred for foreigners or being an advocate to being racist.  In fact, I believe that I am far from being racist given that my husband is not of my own race, and that my friends and acquaintances are from all sorts of nationality and races, from being Chinese to Filipinos and even Indians from India.

That point made clear, I am posting this based merely on my observation while doing a quick shopping in a very heartland neighbourhood shopping mall. I was more surprised than anything else to discover that while shopping at Giordano, all 3 service staffs on duties were Filipinas – which was perfectly fine until I hear them speaking only Tagalog to each other right in front of other fellow Singaporean customers. What happened to English as Singapore’s first language?

While I acknowledged that there may be a few other Filipinos shopping at the same time, I can’t help but felt some sense of awkwardness to it all as it was almost like I was shopping in the Phillipines! At another venue, I was even addressed in Tagalog! (Ok. So yes, I know I can easily pass off as a Filipina too, but still…!)

Even the shops at the vicinity of Giordano were mostly staffed by either Filipinos or Chinese from China (one can tell from their very distinct accent), and I can attest that every 2 out of 3 service staff I encountered were all foreigners. This even extended to service staff working at Singapore’s Changi International Airport.

I was wondering if I was just being paranoid as suddenly, it appearsed that Singaporeans have become a rare breed in Singapore. It surprised me further that I would probably have to squint and look really hard to find a service staff that is born-and-bread Singaporean – not that there are none, but just hardER to find.

And perhaps, not at all surprising as well given the latest statistics from Wiki stated that 40% of Singapore’s resident are foreigners, one of the highest percentage in the world (See Demographic: Paragraph 4)

It does make me wonder what other fellow Singaporeans have to say about this phenomenon. There is more to this than meets the eye.

Suddenly, for the first time in my life, outside the safe haven of my parents’ home, I felt like I was the foreigner in my own country.

Central's Kids' Area

Tucked away in a corner on the 5^th floor of Central Chidlom, we (actually Silver Bullet!) have recently discovered an almost perfect play area to bring Spud to when we run out of ideas as to where to go to keep her occupied.

While at one point we are always on the 5^th floor to look for baby stuff almost every weekend for months on end, we have somehow missed this little play area for little tots to tumble around. It is very close to the changing area, and we must have changed Spud there for countless number of times in the last 16 months! Yet, we have never spotted this before and it made us wonder if this is just a new thing or have we really missed it.

Called the Central Friendly Land, it is like a super-mini version of the Funarium. It is very close to our home and best of all, it cost only 40 baht for the whole day with parents entering free!

Spud loves tumbling about the very child-proof area and I’m sure she had a blast.

Surely one of the best ways to keep her occupied and tire her out by the end of the day.

Last week in Dec

We are now into the 4^th week of December and exactly a week more till the 1^st Jan 2012; and I spent the last 2 weeks battling through more than 10 hours of work schedule, trying to get home on time and still missing a few evenings of being able to put Spud to bed. 

It also feels like ages ago since I last wrote a post too and at this stage, there has been no sign of respite to my workload dwindling down!

But it IS the last week of December…the weather has gone considerably chilly – with the weekend at a constant 25 °C and today at a cool 24 °C .

I have also, here and now,  decided to take it slow at work for a little bit before the madness starts again next week. After all, I do deserve a little break from being a corporate slave, do I not? 

Despite the hectic work schedule though, personal time out of the office has been great with Silver Bullet and Spud, especially with my parents coming over for a visit in the last 10 days to spend time with us.  

Wait.

Let me re-phrase that: They came over to spend time with Spud -  not really quite “us” anymore as we have been relegated to lower priority these days…

But that does not matter, what matters is that they get to spend quality time with their grand-daughter they hardly get to see beyond pictures and updates on my blog post. And, top that up with my darling mom cooking us her delish home-cooked meals…I certainly could not ask for more. 

The best surprise was when I came back home from work to my mom making ondeh-ondeh for us! Ondeh-ondeh is a very traditional dessert made out of sweet potato and glutinous rice flour  - one of my favourite childhood dessert and one which I have not had for a long time.

It is soft and chewy in texture and when you put one round green ball into your mouth and chew on it, it explodes out sugar-bombs!

I’m telling you, those little coconut-covered green balls are just heavenly…so heavenly that Silver Bullet feels challenged that he now wants to give the ondeh-ondeh a go.

If you could only see the grin on my face when he said that! 

I certainly am hopeful and looking forward to him trying out those green balls out and I would be a very happy camper if my husband is able to make it like my mom’s! :)

Stereotyped by a minor

Oblivious to my surroundings as both Silver Bullet and me got busy yakking away as we were minding Spud while waiting to board the plane to Bangkok at Changi Airport, I was unceremoniously questioned by an 8-year old girl who was standing with her family right behind us (we were first in line!).

I don’t know what it was that was in her head, but out of the blue, she tapped me and asked where I am from. Not sure what to think about such an innocent-sounding question from an innocent-looking little girl, I replied her with a smile and told her that I am from Singapore.

Immediately, her eyes darted to her parents, and then I overheard her saying something in the line of “piw dam dam” (literally translated as skin black black) and followed by blah..blah..blahh..”Isaan”.

Almost shocked at what I heard, I turned to the Thai family, and heard the mom telling her in the lines of dark skinned and Isaan and then something I could not quite follow (damn! I wish I speak Thai fluently) . All the time, the little girl was looking at me, and looking quite confused.

Me on the other hand, felt quite insulted by a little girl (or anyone) who has no right to judge me (or anyone) by the colour of my skin. If you don’t understand why I felt insulted, it is because, usually darker-skinned females from Thailand are usually stereotyped as a working girl from Isaan (the north part of Thailand where most “working” girls hail from) and given that the guy next to me happened to be a farang, I guess, I now not only fit the stereotype of being The Nanny of the family, but also labelled as the poor hooker out of Isaan and now married to a white guy to fleece him of his wealth.

Of course, it could also be perfectly possible that perhaps, she was just explaining (I hope!) that not all dark skinned women are from Isaan or that not all Isaan women has dark skinned or that not all dark-skinned women are whores.

Giving a rather dramatised sad look to her and her family, I turned and whispered to Silver Bullet (within earshot) with a, “I think she said my skin is dark and she thinks I am from Isaan. WTF!?”

And I really do mean, W.T.F?

What are parents teaching their kids these days? It is one thing to be stereotyped and judged by adults, it is also another thing for kids to start judging others at such a young tender age.

It is so sad that the kid has been molded into such a way of thinking, making me feel so sorry for the kid. I wonder what else has gotten into that pretty little head of hers.

Where is the driver?

On my way back to the office the other day, I was literally abandoned (temporarily!) by the cab driver.

Without any advance warning, the cabbie just stopped his cab by the side of a usually busy road as we were nearing my office; and with just a hand gesture that (I believe) said “wait”, he walked out.


The driver was somewhere behind the cab on my right

 I mean, he literally just stopped, said nothing and walked out! Suddenly I was in a stalled car, in the middle of the road, and NO frickin’ cabbie.

Wondering what had just happened and if he was going to come back for me, I looked around, and not too far away, there stood my cabbie, pissing behind one of the bushes.

I guess, for what it’s worth, it was just case of when you gotta go, you just gotta go!

It must have been quite a long piss as I actually had the time to take a shot of my stalled cab.

When he was done, he just walked back in as if nothing had happened, and started driving. Without a word of apology.

I just had to shrugged it off and laughed it off as just another only in Thailand moment.

TiT

Spud's blabber

Spud has been picking up words, and my guess is, when she likes the sound of the words, she repeats it over and over and over again.

Her picking up simple sentences, however, took us by surprise when we were in Singapore. It all happened that she got cranky when she was woken up by the sound of a slamming door while she was napping as we got on the cab.

Silver Bullet, who was carrying her then, tried every ways and means to calm her down; but she would have none of it. As she was wailing her guts out, Silver Bullet then just went on to point out stuff from our surroundings and started asking questions. One of the questions was him distracting Spud with a “Where are we?” question and repeating it several times

Somehow, that got her, and in between her sobs, she suddenly repeated after Silver Bullet with a “wher wor wee”?

That really took us by surprise, and she has been repeating her own version of "where are we". If she hears anyone of us say it, she is just too happy to repeat it after us, with a big smile on her face.

On that same day, on our way home (she was still in a semi-good mood, despite having almost no nap for the whole day), this took place:

Spud: Wher wor wee? (came out of the blue after a 5 mins cab journey)

Me (in a surprised, but acknowledging tone) : Where? We are in a cab

Spud: Why?

Me: (????) Because we are going home

Spud: Okay (Seemed to be appeased by my answer)

Me, Silver Bullet, My Mother: All burst out laughing.

Right.

I had to scratch me head on that. It sounded all innocent and surprisingly in the right context, but honestly, I am not sure if she understood it all.

Nevertheless, coming from a 16 months toddler, I thought it was quite a hilarious and an eye-opening conversation.

It IS amazing how much little tots can absorb little things like that in their little heads.

I guess the constant jabbering of “whys” and actually expecting a real answer will just be around the corner

The pharmacy that was not quite it

While waiting for my colleague at the BTS station the other day, I had a little bit of time to while away and spotted this little shop at the corner:

It said what it said there, and when I saw it from a distance, I wondered which part of the shop was actually a “pharmacy”.

As I went near it, I came to a conclusion that except for selling a few cough meds and some tylenols (I supposed the nearest you could get for it to be categorized as a pharmacy), it was not nearly quite one...

And I rest my case.

Short weekend in SG

A last minute decision a couple of weeks ago had us back in Singapore for a real short visit last weekend. (Although, this time, it felt like as if we were in the Philippines instead- will explain in anotherpost)

It was not jammed pack with plans, but it was still quite a stressful trip as Spud’s hyperactivity dominates our lives. It was especially tough in the plane as she refused to be strapped up and did not want to go down for any naps. Her “I do not want anything you feed me, especially during dinner time” spree came back –I blame it on the fact that her routine and things she is familiar with have all been screwed up. Something which we cannot help when we are travelling.

Luckily for us, she goes down semi-fine in the evening and slept through till the next day. Only, she has been quite adamant to rouse us from our slumber at 5 frigging am in the morning…

So we are completely knackered; but at least I managed satisfy my long-time craving for sambal stingray at our favourite "Auntie Bird nest's" stall in Newton Circus while catching up with a few good friends and ate insane amount of food!

The pictures here do not look half as good, but trust me, the taste of them were all so heavenly! (and, this was not even half of what we ordered….)

Sambal Stingray



Chilli Crab

 Ahhhh! It will be a while before I can get my hands of that sambal stingray again. Tsk.Tsk.Tsk

Nice and cool!

Oh! The weather has been really fantastic these few days as the Thai "winter" stops by for a visit. It is actually chilly as I had to don on my long sleeves and even resorted to wearing socks last night.

I love it at this time of the year where everything just oozes out that holiday mood.

This morning, the resident thermometer registered a nice number of the temperature in our home:

This, without having the fan or the air-conditioner on. Isn't that just awesome!

Spud's "Toot"

Spud talks a lot these days, and listening to her blabber is always a joy!

Since she was a baby, she’s always been tickled by funny noises which we make, particularly the ones which Silver Bullet comes up with. Given Silver Bullet’s knack for coming up with funny-sounding sounds, you can imagine the exposure of “funny sounds” she has been exposed to since!

One of our favourite games is to point at her stomach, belly button , cheeks and nose (sometimes on the forehead), and after naming that certain body parts, we would go “toot”.

And now, she is just imitating us- with sounds, gesture and all; as each time she points to her own body parts, she also goes “toot”. And then flashes us her brilliant smile. (which at some point, we wonder if we had taught her the right thing as it first started out as an amusement)

Which leads me to this story:

After a massive crying fit which started way before she received her jab (she was not too happy being man-handled by the nurses and her pediatrician), I took her to the kids play area at the hospital to calm her down.

She finally calmed down after 10 minutes melt-down, and had independently amused herself on one of the slides. I was just nearby watching her, and not long after, another girl a few years older than her, joined in.

Probably happy to see a friend, she immediately walked over to the girl and smiled. Along with that smile, came that little hand, and with that little hand, out came the index finger ever so slowly going towards the girl’s forehead and as that fingertip touched the girls forehead, Spud immediately went “Toot!”

Now, I did not see that coming! You should have seen the horror look on my face… and at that point, I really did not know if I should laugh or cry!

It was a good thing that I was close by to “remedy” the situation. Hard as it was to suppress my laughter right there and there, I immediately removed Spud’s hand off the girl’s and told Spud gently that she should not do that to a friend. I promptly apologised to the girl…although I am not sure what she had made of it.

As it was almost time to go, I hurried Spud along to meet Silver Bullet at the cashier. It was hard for me to keep a straight face as I related the story to him. He obviously burst out laughing, but right there and there, we both realised that very soon, all those funny sounds and gestures we do out of amusements at the initial stages may not be so funny anymore in the near future.

Oh! Toot.

Something heart-warming

Every once in a while, we come across a nice story to share, and when a friend posted up this article on FB, I just had to read it out of, mostly, curiosity.

It really warms my heart to come across stories like this.

I just hope that the mugger will find his way to the right path.

Thailand does it again!

[Be warned: This is a rant!]

So the government in Thailand has a new rule where a work permit holder will now have to go for a thorough medical check-up before the renewal of work permit and visa for working in this country. Oh! and this is on top of another medical check-up required by my employer’s insurance company which has its own in-house medical practitioner – which means that the insurance is only valid if my clean bill of health is verified by the medical practitioner of that insurance company!

And believe you me, this is the first time in 6 years that I have been required to do this, and as we all know, medical check-ups are nothing but a royal pain in the ass.

The company you work in assigned you to a hospital, you hauled your ass there, you get stuck in traffic, you wait around, you get poked, prodded, and biles of blood taken from you (I hate frickin’ needles!) They take a long time to complete, they mandated that you wait around for the test results, you get stuck in traffic again; and before you know it, your day is a write off!

Forgive me for whinging, but seriously, how many medical checkups do I have to do in a year to fulfill all of these silly obligations of validating my frickin’ visa and work permit?

The most important question is – how does my health bill information provide value to the renewal of visa/work permit to the government body at all? Especially when they are more concerned about me having first and foremost, the most important disease of syphillis and the fact that I am in good physical and mental health with no symptoms of leprosy, tuberculosis, drug addiction, chronic alcoholism and elephantiasis.

Perhaps I’m missing something, but really, what is the point of all these unnecessary information? Does it make their life any better?

And for something completely different - excuse me while I digress: There was this sign at the hospital I was assigned to.

It boggles the mind why in the world would anyone healthy want to chill out in a hospital in the name of fun.


I mean, seriously?!

Only in Thailand.

16 months update

Spud’s exactly almost 1.5 years old today and, while it is a good 8 months away from that Terrible Two age, she has already exhibited some signs that she is ready to take on the world --- which essentially is us, her parents!

Last weekend for instance, she has been nothing but defiant. Apart from more teething (all of the molars are starting to pop now) which could have contributed to her shabby mood, she has been throwing temper tantrums, whining and whinging away, saying “No” (in context) to just about everything or refusing to do as she was told. When she did not get her way, she screams her head off as if she has just been tortured by the evil witches.

Looking at it, I cannot believe that these temperaments are coming from a one and half year old toddler!

Given my (lack of) patience these days, and the sheer fact of how much I hate, hate, hate whiners – adults, kids and cats alike, it just makes me want to yell at the top of my lungs while screaming my own head off with a “Shut the f&%## up!”

That being said, I am also extremely petrified of me that I would not be able to cope as Spud continues to stretch her boundaries and push her limits.

It is times like those when I do look forward to Mondays and going back to work in my even-crazier office. Times like those when I am convinced that I could never be a full-time mother ever. Times like those when I question my ability to ever be able to flourish as a good parent.

In trying to discipline Spud, I sorely need to remind myself that the best discipline tool I can have to help with her development will be my own self-discipline. That means, I need to keep calm when Spud acts up, and keeping my own frustrations in check. (Very, extremely hard, mind you!)

I.need.to.remember.to.breathe.

And I need to remember that Spud is just a kid trying to learn her way of being and gain her independence. All she needs at this stage is for her crazy, stressed-out mother not to act up when she does. After all, a mother knows how to handle everything right? (Or, in my case, if all else fails, at least just pretend that I know how to handle everything and be the one IN control!)

But all those frustrations and my whining aside of how terribly terrible Spud has been, each day I remind myself to count my blessings for Spud being healthy and normal (although I still sometimes wonder, because she is so hyper-active!).

Her nasty temper tantrums aside, l do feel like this is probably one of the most joyful time to be with her. While we consider her a rather late-bloomer in learning how to wave bye (she mastered the wave at 15+ months when most babies are already able to do that at 1 year old), she certainly is interacting better with us.

She waves her byes in her little funny waves, and I just love to hear her voice when she says “bye”. She sorts of drags it (byyyyyyyeeeee) and she says it in a sing-song, but soft tone, a tone that makes my heart melt.

She is now almost conditioned to say bye whenever she sees us leave for work, or if someone says bye to her or when we put her to bed. She also says it when she has enough of something (usually prolonged kisses!) which usually comes with “OK” and then followed by a long and draggy bye. A tone which sounded as if she is chasing us away!

It also has been quite endearing to hear her say “more” when she wants more of something that she likes. When it comes to food, let me tell you I cannot be happier when she starts mouthing off “more, more”; and that is not very often!

My favourite moment of the day is still seeing Spud darting and crashing towards me as she flashes her brilliant smile to me the moment I walk through the door when I come home from work. I look forward to getting such a welcome every day, and it makes me forget all the crap I have to deal at work, especially when I have a bad day.

Experiencing Spud like that is just so exquisite.

Our little imp is growing up. And little Spud, has indeed, single-handedly changed our outlook of life. It is hard to believe that 1.5 years has passed us by just like that...

The making of a bully

While at the Funarium – a 2000-sq.m. facility of playground for toddlers and kids (a review for another post) tucked away in Soi 26 - the other day, I witnessed a not-so-nice incident as I was minding Spud.

What I observed was this:

Two boys of about the same age (my guess is about 4-5 years old) were both fighting over some sort of a boxing-like cushion. One of the boys, let’s call him A, had roughly snatched the object in question away from another child (let’s call him child B, and perhaps just slightly younger than Child A), causing Child B to go into a screaming fit.

Child A, meanwhile, after winning the battle by yanking the boxing-cushion away with brute force of an 8-year old, then looked on at Child B with a sneer. In the meantime, the father of Child A, who obviously did nothing to break-up the earlier fight, was slouching away in a corner less than a meter away from his own child, watching the entire fiasco unfold before his very own eyes. With the boxing-cushion in Child A’s hands and a triumphant glow on his face , he then glanced-up to his father, my guess is to get some form of acknowledgment from a person he looks up to. I guess he got what he needed – for as soon as Child A looked up at his father, that man gave his son the Thumbs Up.

Yep. I definitely noticed a big fat thumbs-up alright; which I thought was an appalling sight! For, what I saw was an impressionable child effectively bullying another kid, younger than he was, and there was the father giving the Thumbs Up?! What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

I could feel myself seething with anger, and I really wanted to bitch-slap that man’s face. But I didn’t think that it was my place to say or do anything and I had no right. (Besides, I pretended not to notice). All I could do was looked up to Silver Bullet and rolled my eyes at what I saw. I shook my head in disgust as my first thought trailed to, “this is how a bully is created!”

I darted my eyes around the room, and saw Child B screaming his head off as his father moved towards him. I’m not sure if Child B’s father saw the incident, and if he did, then perhaps, he probably just did not want to make a big deal out of it. After all, I agree that to a certain extent, it probably be a good thing to let the kids sort out their differences themselves rather than parents get involved unless necessary.

I had a sneaking suspicion that perhaps, he had told his son to go play somewhere else after the incident as I never did see Child B anywhere near that horrid father-and-child A again. If I am the parent of Child B, I probably would have done the same. ( i.e by disassociating my child with the bully)

In my mind, that was a classic case of how little bullies grow into big bullies. Each time a bully gets away with his act, which as a child, probably was taught that it was the right thing to do, he is then encouraged to do it again - especially so when he gets a thumbs up, an approval for his bullying.

Moments later, Child A’s father continued interacting with his son, and most of the time, all we could hear was his barking orders to his kid. And I mean real barking, like yelling for his son to do this, do that.Take this to there, and take that to this, and don’t do this and do that instead. The kid was clearly not listening to his instructions and I saw that he was just doing the opposite of what was being told. As I looked on, I saw a few people making a bee-line out of their way. In a way, I kind of feel sorry for the kid.

This was not the first time I witnessed something like that, and I know it will not be my last either.

It makes me sad, this. There already are not very many pleasant people around in this lifetime, and yet there are very well-educated but irresponsible people out there breeding kids teaching their own flesh and brood that it is absolutely okay to be mean and be a bully just so that they feel better about themselves.

I am not about to preach what to do, and what not to do, but I hope, we as parents can make it a priority to not just teach our kids tolerance, but to also teach them the appreciation for other people.

There probably are many kids out there stomping on each other’s heart and while kids bully or kids get bullied can be considered a sad reality to some, it is not a concession of the ways of being in this world. It is too selfish. It just cannot be.

I don’t know what I’ll do if ever I see Spud in such a situation – perhaps I can only figure it out when the time comes. But I do know that I should be able to tell Spud that we don’t have to get along or even like each other, but there is no reason to be mean or feel superior to others. There is no room for bullies in our household.

The scene from Funarium reminded me of a post I blogged about on kids’ mimicry.

Times like this, the reality of us parents being a role model to our kids truly hit home.

Music laggard me

One of the downside of living in Thailand is being out of touch with the music scene. Ask me what is the current #1 song on the charts, and I will for certain not be able to tell you what it is.

It is a bummer that as we don’t quite listen to the local radio stations here simply because:

• Most of the stations are localised…meaning only Thai music
• And the few and far between English radio stations out here mostly play the annoying Hip-Hop music 95% of the time

I hate to admit this, but my knowledge of music has deteriorated very badly over the years, and considering that I am quite the music buff, I am very ashamed of myself of not being able to keep up! I still live in the music scene of the 70s, 80s, 90s and possibly till about 2005…but after that, I am completely, and absolutely clueless on good, listenable, radio-friendly new songs which hit the air-waves

Alright, alright. I know one can argue that with internet, I’ve got no excuses whatsoever. All I have to do is look it up and bingo! I’ll be able to find what I want. After all, isn’t that how a certain Beiber got discovered?

But that’s not my point. Besides the fact that I cannot stand that Bieber little thing and his silly songs and his hairdo, my point is that I do actually miss that unintentional journey of discovering good music. You know, like when you hear a melody over the good old radio, or if your friends introduced you a new number, and you go, “Oh! I like that song. What’s the title? Who sings it?” And then you immediately start looking for it. Perhaps I’m just old skool, but for me, it is not the same soulful journey like when you discover it by other means versus youtube.

For me, a song consumes your very soul from within and it is something you appreciate better when you listen to it rather than seeing it first. You feel it.

And you feel and you appreciate it through the auditory sensory it gives you even before you see the visual elements to it (aka via music video to satisfy a different sensory need). You know what I mean?

The good old radio used to be my window to the music world, but truly, that window in Thailand plays crap music, and I cannot bear to turn that on dial. Either that, the international music artists don’t really produce good music anymore. Or perhaps, they do produce great music as defined by the masses, but ain’t really the type of music which I can appreciate. Like Lady Gaga…I heard so much about her and her cause, and yet her songs did nothing for me.

Like my sentiments towards blardy Bieber, I don’t really give a crap about Gaga.

So here I am, an old, restless music-deficiency soul, clueless about the new music scene of this generation, would like to seek your help – if you hear any song that is not Hip Hop or Rap or Country music worth raving about, hover them my way and help me discover something new once in a while, will you.

It's December!

It's the first day of my favourite month.

My favourite beverage Peppermint Mocha has re-appeared again for at least 2 weeks now. (Yayyy!!).

The soon-to-be annoying over-blasted Christmas jingles are not too far away.

I can just smell that typical December holiday mood looming in the air.

And I'm hoping that  the cool season will make it back here soon to complete that holiday feeling.

But I have to restraint myself from taking in all of that now because I am so bloody tied-up at work with no room to breathe! So busy that in fact, in the last few weeks, I have not been home in time early enough to spend some time with Spud like I always do and barely got home in time to put her to bed.

It has been god-awful, and given that next week is a short week, I have been scrambling to get things done as much and as quickly as I can. But seemed like an impossible tasks as I am 1.5 staff short!

I hope it will get better in about 2 weeks from now so I can bask in the holiday season guilt-free.

Right now, I am not a very happy camper.